How to find a good therapist?

It's a great question and one I get asked all the time, so let's break down the answer into its two parts. Firstly, you need to find a therapist, which isn't always a straightforward task. Then, once you think you've found one, you'll need to consider if they're a good therapist and what that even means. It's a big decision as you'll be forming a relationship with them and developing it over potentially a number of weeks and months and maybe even years. Here are a few things to think about that I hope will help you find the right therapist for you.

1. The term ‘Psychotherapist’, ‘Therapist’ and ‘Counsellor’ are not protected terms in the UK. But all reputable therapists should be part of a professional governing body, to be part of which they need to evidence certain qualifications to join. In the UK, the largest governing bodies are the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) and the UK Council for Psychotherapy (UKCP). Check when looking for a therapist that they have one of those letters by their name.

   
   

2. Big, corporate companies can seem really appealing. They have lots of money to spend on marketing, and they can sometimes have lower price points for clients. But what are they paying their therapists? And how are they making a profit from their business? In a profession with less than ideal regulation, I suggest thinking through what platforms you choose to use and doing a little research into how they operate.

   
   

3. Directories can help find a therapist; they host 1000s of therapists, and they do need to have checks on their training. But when you are faced with 1000s of faces, it’s very hard to narrow down the right therapist for you...

   
   

4. This is why I created Third Therapy. A place where all the therapists are checked, interviewed and have a common theme of working relationally. We are a boutique practice, and we all bring something slightly different to the table. There are not 1000s of us, but a select few, so it is much easier to really see your options.

OK, let’s say you’ve found a therapist, now what?

5. You should always have an assessment / introductory session with the therapist. Sometimes these are free, sometimes they are paid for. Ask questions. Make sure you understand things like cancellation policies and timings. Get a vibe from them.

   
   

6. It is absolutely OK to decide they are not the right one for you. Let them know and move on to your next therapist. Therapy is a big commitment financially and emotionally, and you should absolutely feel a connection with that therapist.

   
   

7. Sometimes therapists can remind us of people in our lives, that’s ok. If you feel this happening then tell them because it can be really important to the work you'll be undertaking with them.

   
   

8. It’s OK to have a trial period of 6 weeks. Give yourself a chance to settle into therapy and get to know the feeling of working with your therapist for a bit. If this is something you would like to do, tell your therapist this, and they should accommodate it.

   
   

9. Some good things to look out for - feeling respected, supported, heard and seen, validated, gently pushed or questioned, feeling comfortable to raise concerns or not agree with them.

   
   

10. Some bad things to look out for - judgment, being interrupted, being made to feel small or silly, indifference, strong opinions from your therapist, not being listened to if you question your therapist or tell them you feel uncomfortable, your therapist not taking accountability if they make mistakes (because all therapists do)

Finally, remember that therapy isn't easy, and sometimes it will be really hard. You may not feel comfortable for a long time, but the key is that you trust your therapist, you feel held by them, and it's also ok for them to disagree with you, and for you to disagree with them.